Addie M Weed

Protip: the police station probably isn't the best place to wake-and-bake.

This is an actual resume submitted by a pot-loving ordained minister. Probably written while under the influence, this thing skips the traditional format of work experience and formal education in favor of a laundry list of unique life experiences such as robbed in Mexico, walked through Harlem at 1 a.m. in search of weed, and upside-down cave repelling. Just...wow.

I’m involved with an older man. My boss, actually. Each week, we secretly meet outside of work, behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of the world. Though ours is not a rendezvous of the heart. No, what we share is more special than clandestine candle lit dinners, fine wine on a beach, or roses petals on pillows. We smoke pot together.

I know. I was there.